I am sure I could have done better,

Been a little more caring,

More understanding,

Reflective before responding,

All in all, more forgiving.

Today is a new day. Reboot.

I AM a blade of grass,

A tree,

The loving eyes of a dog,

A thinking breathing soul.

Focus and illuminate me,

So I may see You,

And all the love in those around me.

The early morning voice of the American Airlines rep

Gives me the details of the cost of getting home early.

Yes you are confirmed on standby Sir,

“Does that mean I can get on?”

“ ‘No, it means you can wait, and see if you can get on;

If you want to get on, you can buy another ticket and I will charge you for changing your ticket’ ”

 

So, I am dreaming of another world,

One where someone didn’t want to rob me because I wanted to see the wife sooner that evening,

The dog’s wagging tail,

A log fire on a cool fall evening.

 

So wake up Michael, and head for the airport,

Your punishment awaits you.

Or is it penance?

Don’t expect the perfect flower,

Growing and seeking the light

To always seem perfect.

For renewal is continuous; and therein seeks perfection.

Sometimes a camera will see what we cannot.

The details in the shadows,

The whole picture,

Where we can only scan a small area with our vision

And mind.

 

But with our heart we can see it all.

The cars stop in succession,

Attracted by a setting sun

Punctuating the day with meaning,

After a day somewhat devoid of it.

Suddenly, the three meet,

Waiting eagerly to capture a moment in 1/250 of a second

Recorded for ever somewhere,

But now a permanent reminder of their encounter.

When most chance, and wonderful meets are wasted but not forgotten.

I am not disturbed

Or confused,

But perplexed.

Why would they behave this way?

Only for short term gain.

Why don’t they see what I see?

Is this a movie or worse a play?

A play where the script

is being written by another force;

One they don’t see or recognize

overtaking their lives.

Leaving me here like some bystander

Who can see the consequences,

When no one else seems to care.

Perplexed.

Or is this a call to action?

Not to just regret or pray for change in others;

Not of the body or mind

But of the heart.

This observational state I am now in

Let’s me see the actions

And but a glimpse of motivation,

Mostly it shows me futility

And meaninglessness in a 3D movie

Now my working life.

So perplexing.

Yet there is something more than just the perplexing;

Like dynamic revelation

I see more, yet don’t quite understand

Perhaps that’s enough for now.

And if I pour love in the stew I see

All will see the meal they are creating.

Leading them to change.

I remember those mornings, on the darkish country lanes of England.

Thinking silently while inhaling the fresh, damp, cold,

Morning air.

 

While the motorcycle hummed beneath me,

It was not a distracting noise, rather soothing.

As the ride gently moved from dusky darkness,

As light seeping onto the planet,

Awakening my day.

 

 

 

What a delight I have enjoyed all my life,

Seeing and feeling the day and night,

Its temperature changes,

Affecting attitudes,

Conversations,

Disposure,

Clothing,

And most of all.

Mindfulness.
Let me replay these days again,

To feel the touch of God in my life today.

And why when light falls or fades,

Meaning becomes obvious to me.

 

They are always there,

More people awaiting quietly

In the darkness

Cold, naked, silent,

Facing front and the light

But somehow not seeing it.

So I turn once more into the deep,

Peering intensely until the shape emerges

Once hidden but now clearer,

From silhouette to form

Until, motionless they call out in silence

The silence of emptiness

And separation.

So I am called again to walk to them

And place the cloak of warmth

And love and safety

Around their naked body

Releasing their frozen dull form

As we walk together

Towards a visible light

I wake in the morning and all on my mind is packing,

Finding it all in the drawers I used,

Not leaving the charger of my laptop

in some forgotten corner,

Thinking of what time the plane will leave,

Of what the traffic will be like,

Of time for breakfast for not.

Then,

This last day,

Instead of relaxing and reflecting on the vacation together,

Of time in the Bistro,

Walking the streets,

Visiting the Cathedral,

Or admiring the view,

I have already left.

So packing will be relegated to

The last minute,

And packed away in its proper place.

A small exercise on my journey,

Essential but irrelevant in the grand scheme.

Never to dominate or control my day again.