I have already won; the lottery of the heart
My family, my wife, past lovers, friends, enemies,
All those movies of old, now so real.
Because they are.
So why do I continue to look for toys,
Will they love me better if I give them money?
Think more of me?
Or will they know already what is in my heart.
The soul quietly praying for me,
Even when I do bad, or speak evil of others.
Reminding me of what is really there.
So my lottery is just a game of desire
Fueled by greed and possessions
To create this magnanimous false self
Never satisfied, but seemingly unloved
A love only satisfied by money.