I have already won; the lottery of the heart

My family, my wife, past lovers, friends, enemies,

All those movies of old, now so real.

Because they are.

 

So why do I continue to look for toys,

winnings,

sharing,

Will they love me better if I give them money?

Think more of me?

 

Or will they know already what is in my heart.

The soul quietly praying for me,

Even when I do bad, or speak evil of others.

Reminding me of what is really there.

Love.

 

So my lottery is just a game of desire

Fueled by greed and possessions

To create this magnanimous false self

Never satisfied, but seemingly unloved

A love only satisfied by money.