Sometimes I know where I am going,

Sometimes not.

Life is like an unused railway tunnel,

Drawing me in with only two directions to choose from.

 

One of which is backwards.

 

It’s not a matter of how close I am getting,

Walking down this tunnel,

It’s more where I am.

 

Can I see more as I get closer?

Yes, but the light is so bright … it hurts my eyes,

And illuminates all my past;

Plus reason wants me to stay where I am.

 

 

Illuminated,

I know what the ground is where I stand,

I can trust myself and God evenly here,

But not when I move forward.

 

Moving forward,

I have to trust Him more than me,

To want to be closer,

More than being safe, holding onto what I have.

 

However,

I can’t stand still,

I have come this far,

And still want to be closer to Him.

 

The only way forward is trust.

 

 

The ones under me are not visible,

Balance and staying upright takes care of them.

And I can’t see the ones right in front either,

Only those a couple of steps away,

Are in my vision.

Those far away will come in time.

 

Sprinkling color all around a summer morning,

Disused buildings take a well-deserved rest.

Smiling quietly in the sun,

ignoring passerby’s cat-calls of repair and renovation.

 

And instead, bask in the peace and harmony of the day.

 

Kissing the summer morning with sunlight,

All awakens in response,

Taking its proper place in the workd,

Beautiful, busy and natural.

 

Even the old, suddenly not neglected,

Watch on, smiling silently,

As new paint falls from the sky,

Spilling color to their feet.

 

 

The renewal begins today,

Despite my appearance and the desire to look forlorn and neglected.

These are merely traits and temptations to bring us down.

 

For even though seemingly abandoned,

I am not alone.

 

Circles with no purpose,

in fact not circles at all,

rather a single, curved line,

with edges not to be crossed.

 

Leading inwards.

To a center, some call her soul.

By its single touch all is transformed,

into beauty and something pleasing,

to God.

 

Dwelling deep in her soul,

she incites her to action,

knowing only God himself is worthy of it … and has it to give.

 

Not worrying about outcomes,

Having done what was in her power … at the time,

and remains in the calm presence of God,

now enjoyed almost constantly.

 

Waiting for the next assault from the foe,

Her peace is well protected.

 

 

Many left, I didn’t.

Some to the army, others to the states.

I stayed.

A decision not to go is still a direction,

sometimes more risky than the unknown,

and with roots to home.

 

If home is a place. Not a feeling.

 

 

As if by magic it appears in front of me.

God’s world leaping off an old two dimensional page,

all repetitiveness, toil, love and struggles,

suddenly mixed in colors indescribable,

but felt in a heart.

 

No need to comprehend, only savor.